This is the second part of a four-part series in which we here at Hockey Embassy are summarising each team’s season thus far into a 17-syllable haiku. See the Atlantic division article here. It’s a way for us to appear busy while doing the absolute bare minimum, which is somehow still more than what NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman manages to do.

Again, for those unsure what a Haiku is, it is an “unrhymed Japanese poetic form that consists of 17 syllables in three lines containing five, seven, and five syllables, respectively” (Merriam-Webster). There are variations but for simplicity’s sake, we’ll stick to the traditional 5-7-5 format.

Carolina Hurricanes
Reimer’s resurgence,
Svechnikov’s scoring prowess
Leading to playoffs

Columbus Blue Jackets
They still compete, but
Winning can be hard when you
Score less than a priest

New Jersey Devils
Traded Taylor Hall
Subban on the trading block
Goaltending awful

I wonder if Cory Schneider was able to find his game again in the AHL, let me check….. oh good god no pic.twitter.com/vhXbjUPYRP

— Leafs ALL Day (@LeafsAllDayy) December 14, 2019

New York Islanders
Best defensive team
Second in the division
Still can’t attract fans

The New York Islanders drew a crowd of 9,923 at Nassau Coliseum tonight.

Kind of hard to blame the Barclays Center when you don’t show up to your preferred arena either. #Isles pic.twitter.com/wTKzNsu7Ez

— Complete Hockey News (@CompleteHkyNews) October 7, 2019

New York Rangers
The rebuild was quick
They are in the playoff race
Panarin is god

Panarin certainly loves the high leg kick as a celebration move. He did so tonight after scoring his 20th of the season. Panarin (20-23-43) has now recorded goals in five consecutive games. pic.twitter.com/yqLRQMbYvR

— Tom Urtz Jr. (@TomUrtzJr) December 17, 2019

Philadelphia Flyers
There’s more to hockey
Than your place in the standings
Remain #OskarStrong

Each seat in the Wells Fargo Center has this sign on it tonight to show solidarity with Oskar Lindblom as he battles cancer. #OskarStrong pic.twitter.com/B4fnaSpNvH

— Kate Frese (@KateFresePhoto) December 17, 2019

Pittsburgh Penguins
Teddy from retail
Playing with Sidney Crosby
Murray has been bad

Washington Capitals
First place overall
Kuznetsov hits the white right line
Carlson for Norris

Kuznetsov said he didn't do that coke.
In hockey that is what they call a two line pass. https://t.co/6xJBY5MUKr

— DirtyDangles (@DirrtyDangles) May 28, 2019

That’s all for today, come back tomorrow for the Central division version. Feel free to leave a comment if you have a Haiku for a Metropolitan division team you would like to share, or let me know on Twitter either via @HockeyEmbassy or @CanStrayan.